not having a social life... sucks

i realized that not being to be with people on a real person to person level is starting to affect my head. not too long ago i was able to catch onto the subtleties that people made using emotion. i could even do this whilst reading the written word. now it appears that quite the opposite is true and when people use emotions instead of words to describe what they mean, i get utterly confused and dizzy. it's like i see all of the options that i know for the word, but i can't lock down on one anymore, so i'm left with thirteen different options that mean entirely different things, and i have to ask what the person means just to understand. this would be so much easier if i had practice with people again, understanding the way they say something so i'm confident with the meaning. (it's like my brother when he asked me what the line "I want two arms that want to hold me, not Hold me" meant, because he was confused by denying what was just said. this is easy of course, the first means to support and comfort, and second is to restrain, simple and easy interpretation of 2 of the thousands of meanings for the word hold). i do actually get the feeling that some people don't understand this concept and don't quite get how to choose words correctly to fit what they're trying to say.

and now for something completely different:

I CAN'T SLEEP!!!
it's strange, but for one reason or another i can't sleep, and when i do, it's just one, seemingly short, dream. the dream changes each time but i remember it all when i wake up. it's beginning to freak me out, and i think i'm going insane... so i guess it ain't that bad :D.

and now for something that may or may not be different:

Ai Kora fucking rocks my socks off. for those of you utterly confused (should be the vast majority) it is a comic i finished in one my recent bouts of insomnia, and it is farking sweet.

here is a link:

here

it should take you 9 hours to read through (though i was 50% crazy at the time, so maybe less)

It hit me

I'm a Senior,

which is good and bad, because now i have exactly 1 year to hang out with my current friends before they go away.

sad story, but oh well, i'll just need to hang out with them more.

now on to a different topic entirely,

flying in dreams KICK ASS, it is just about the most mind blowing experience i've ever had, too bad the longest in dream flight time i've logged is 10 seconds, which sucks because it's such a great feeling. anywho...

and now for something completely different:

Never eat a 2 lbs hamburger thats been cooked well done, it is not a happy experience to have to eat 2 lbs of charcoal, EVER. it sucked, but i got a shirt (which is too small for me). but anywho.

if god was a monkey, i'd be a zoo.

but that doesn't matter.

but Pokemon kicks asstesticals (yes, it's a word :D)
serious, it just plain rules.

but anyways... i'm anxious to see my schedule for this coming up year, i seem to have forgotten what i have taken for some reason or another... oh, well.

i've had nightmares recently about this coming up school year, mostly how taking pre-calc again will be like... i'm really nervous because i hate homework and that's all that math seems to be these days, i've never had to worry about failing math because it was my forte, then i went and failed it three times in a row (GOD I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT) that was the only honors class i landed myself in coming out of middle school and i managed to fuck it up (more like it fucked me up (I FUCKING HATE THAT TEACHER))

but on a lighter note, i was finally able to blog again (stupid google taking over blogger and what not)