Anger Begets Anger Begets...

two things that frustrate the crap out of me. (PS: 2 posts today)

First up, Happened in theater today. somebody make a snarky comment about jenna and snuff. and ARGH, it was exactly like the choir thing from september. they're lucky i've learned to control myself, because they could be dead right now. they were saying how it was disgusting how jenna and snuff looked at each other, and UGH, when they were talking, I could almost see the word ENVY printed on their forehead. (crap, i'm going to add something about the deadly sins on the end now). The most frustrating thing of all was that, thinking back, this person had the same reaction when i brought Sarah to an event of the friends. it just frustrates me now to know what they were saying when i couldn't hear them.

second off, is my father. the man is one of the most frustrating people to know because he's to stubborn to admit a mistake to me. His sins would be PRIDE and WRATH. but he's the single most frustrating person ever (of course, he's really not all that bad... i guess there are worst things, i'm just flustered)

And since i brought it up, I might as well finish off this thought. The Seven Deadly Sins.

we all know 'em. Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Lust.

now, we of course associate them with bad things, when in reality, they're quite good such as:
When we think of Greed, we think of money, but in reality, it's anyone who wants something and will do anything to get it. these people are passionate about what they wish to achieve.

Pride doesn't just mean good looks, it also means the persons understands their work and takes pride in doing the best they can. these people are hard-working.

Gluttony isn't always about food, but is one that you can't construe as a good thing. a Gluttonous person always takes more than they need, but this usually means (if were talking about money) they'll have a nice cushion if they get into trouble.

Slothful people usually think before acting, making them good strategists and great intellectuals (though often think then never act)

Envy means you want what others have, but tend to be very good at giving compliments and building people up (because they know all the good things they have)

Wrath doesn't mean your angry all the time. it means you become angry over many things. these people tend to make decisions and stick with them through thick and thin.

Lust is a desire to fill your needs. be it social or physical. these people tend to be straight forward.

Now for the more contraversal part of our show, where i match people with their sins based on unbiased observation.

first off, is of course...

James Mahaney. Sins: Greed, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony (NOTE: if you want an explaination of any of these, please just ask, and don't my head off for bringing this up. i think it's helpful to now your sins :D)(this are in descending order, first being predominate, there on being less)

Katie Baker. Sins: Wrath (very passivist, but never get on katies bad side, it's a bad place (i should know, but me and katie are past that now :D)), Pride.

Chris Cooper. Sins: Envy, Pride, Greed, Lust

Kelsy Coit. Sins: Envy, Lust

Ian Gorham. Sins: Sloth, Wrath, Lust

Sarah Wente. Sins: Envy, Wrath

Jenna Geris. Sins: Envy, Pride, Lust

(First off, i put envy up there alot, that's kind of odd i guess, next i'll decide to continue this later if i feel like it)

-James

Holy Mother

I haven't posted in a while, which i must say is strange.

the odd thing is i haven't had the ongoing dialogue that often sparks me writing in this... which is also strange.

I guess one thing i've been thinking about is whether or not religion is still relevant.

I recently stumbled upon the ten commandments of ethical atheists and i have to say i couldn't agree more. (if you want to know what they are, i'm too lazy to go out and find them so... yeah)

I really don't have much else... but this whole jenna&snuff thing, which i have to say is by far the more awesome things that happened really. It reminds me of the Bricky thing i had, except neither of them are too much of a whore (I mean snuff's close but...). But it got me thinking, what made me develop this way? by this way, i've realized that i am terrified of women (not "eww cooties" but more like "oh my god, she'd never want to date a hideous beast like me") but i want to know how i got into that method of thinking. speaking of which, i do like theater james, for he is the le awesome.

-James

(PS: ...

change, she is fickle

wow, this makes me quite sad. well not sad really, but it makes me realize how fast change can occur when you a resigned in the ideaology of change and are only changing how you're being changed.

I read through my last couple of posts, and realized how much in a different direction i'm going, well not really a new direction, but i guess how far i've come to the end of this valley of change. last month i was apathetic to emotion, let it hang out and die. now, i've come to realize that doesn't need to deny his own emotions, but know what is his own emotions, and the emotions of the people around him. last month i couldn't have cared less about anyone around me, now I understand that you have to be willing to give your life for friends, but never give your friends your life. That be selfish doesn't mean ignoring the emotions of those around you, but instead helping them with only the intent that you wish to help them at that moment, not to gain their trust or sympathy, and certainly not to make yourself look like a better person. in order to do something, you must stand behind it whole-heartedly. doing anything half-assed is basically not doing it in the first place.

change is a great thing, and i can't wait to see how far i come by the end of it.

Emotions.

First off, I would like to point out to those around me that I am changing, and that I personally admire this change and find that it is adding to my own character. If you are one who thinks otherwise, I would like to point out that all change is frightening (I myself was scared shitless when i heard my head utter the phrase "maybe God doesn't exist?").

Now, I would like to point out what i mean by changes. to those around me, it appears that i am becoming jaded (this was said by one of my dear friends and i do understand why she feels this way), but i find the opposite to be true. I am merely using my own of working through problems on everything. This method was actually stated in my last post, and is my own system of self-adapting protection. naturally, if anyone every asks about my problems, i will gladly tell them, and if i do need a friend to lean on, i will surely ask, but as of right now i am standing on my own 2 feet, and proud of it.

Recently I have focused this change on being more people oriented to people i love. I have redoubled my focus on "I would give my life for my friends, but i would never give my friends my life" I will do what makes me happy, and they will do what makes them happy, and if you the two collaborate, i will gladly help.

Some People have said that I am denying my emotion. I would like to thank those people for saying such a thing. as such i take back my previous statement that the past is irrelevant. I instead change with this statement, I do not deny my own emotions, and as such, I shall not and will not be guilted into feeling an emotion that i do not feel towards a subject. As such, I also revoke my statement on 9/11, and replace it with this, I feel, not sadness, but anger when talking about 9/11. this anger doesn't come from terrorists, but instead from the insane and unjust reactions of the american people (myself included), and i do not wish to memorialize such a day for it has dirtied the minds of some people to more prejudice against those of different religions (especially Muslims), ethniticities, and cultures. as such, I do not feel sadness, but anger at those took a day of mourning and made it into a rallying cry against terrorism, which is impossible to control or fight with out severly handicapping peoples all over the world. I feel that this is not denial, but instead acceptance my true feelings on the matter.

that's all for tonight (PS: 2 posts this week, i should keep this up)

Self-adapting protection

I realize that my mind has a system of auto-self-regulation. whenever i fall into a bout of depression (As I did last night) It forces me to work out my problems thru false communication. I sit there and have a conversation with my own mind, and by the time i'm done, i'm feeling chipper as a chipmunk.

naturally, it does make me a little frustrated that i rarely ever share my problems with people because of this system, but they're problems i've worked through before (usually) and doesn't require the help of others.

Another thing that frustrates me is my apparent lack of friends. I mean, yeah, i have alot of friends, but only a handful would step up to the plate and invite me to things, (Okay, only one really steps up time and time again) but sadly they never really insist on my presence, I doubt that even half the time they ask. however, yet again, i have already worked past the depression from this and am now looking for a solution.

that's all for now.

Selfish v. selfless

I keep being told that selflessness is the correct path, that in order to be a good person, one must be selfless.

I disagree, this is not the ideals that this country was built nor that i understand to be true. right about now, if you're reading this, you're probably freaking out about what i just said and ready to ram it down my throat, hear me out. this country was built on the ideal that every man has rights that are impossible to take away from him: among those being his right to live, his right to liberty, and his right to happiness. I don't know about you, but if we were built on selfless ideals instead of these selfish ideals, our Declaration would've gone like this: Man has rights to life, liberty, and happiness; but this can and should be given up in the case where your rights interfere with the well-being of your fellow man. doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

now why do i understand that a selfish man is in the right, and a selfless man is in the wrong. while it is true that a selfish man doesn't give to charity or help his fellow man (which are apparently virtues of goodness) he doesn't and won't impede on them, and will never force his ideals, or allow the peoples ideals to be forced on him; his only goal is his own ambition. still sound sucky to you? a selfless man is any man who has no will, only the will of those around him. sounds like a great guy, no? he isn't, every corrupt dictator, politician, and lawyer is included in this group. but how is that possible? those people are "EVIL", they aren't selfless, but instead selfish. I say this is incorrect, while this people are driven by ambition, their ambition is to gain power, and what is power but what is power but a trade off of own's abilities to gain the trust (or power) of those around him. all he ends up becoming is a mirror of the ambitions around him, thus he is truly selfless.

now the point of a selfish person not giving his time, talent, or treasure to those around him, this must make him bad. what is charity but a means to bring down others to try and "help" the lowest of the low. but what are your thoughts when you give to charity? would you want people to just give you money? a man is entitled to the sweat of his own brow, not to the sweat of another. charity is just another form of selflessness. a truly charitable person stops being who they are to serve the people around him. but what about the people around him? what do they do with it? do they become independent? no, they simply become the same as the man who helped them, but with less means. does this make them good people? I personally would be frightened of this society. a person acting off of what the man next to him thinks, that man acting off of what the man next to him thinks, and that next man doing the same on into infinity, until no action has any person or group that caused it, it just happens. that's when the majority stops being individuals, and becomes an ocean, crushing all who opposes their ideals of no ideals.

I had a dream last night about this, a demon who wishes to crush people, so he creates a world where he has power over everyone. eventually what happens is that man becomes nothing but a husk, having no purpose but to please or anger his people, which is impossible unless he wishes them to be angry or pleased.

Every selfish man sees that every man has the ability to do what he wishes. to be independent. and the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit.