Emotions.

First off, I would like to point out to those around me that I am changing, and that I personally admire this change and find that it is adding to my own character. If you are one who thinks otherwise, I would like to point out that all change is frightening (I myself was scared shitless when i heard my head utter the phrase "maybe God doesn't exist?").

Now, I would like to point out what i mean by changes. to those around me, it appears that i am becoming jaded (this was said by one of my dear friends and i do understand why she feels this way), but i find the opposite to be true. I am merely using my own of working through problems on everything. This method was actually stated in my last post, and is my own system of self-adapting protection. naturally, if anyone every asks about my problems, i will gladly tell them, and if i do need a friend to lean on, i will surely ask, but as of right now i am standing on my own 2 feet, and proud of it.

Recently I have focused this change on being more people oriented to people i love. I have redoubled my focus on "I would give my life for my friends, but i would never give my friends my life" I will do what makes me happy, and they will do what makes them happy, and if you the two collaborate, i will gladly help.

Some People have said that I am denying my emotion. I would like to thank those people for saying such a thing. as such i take back my previous statement that the past is irrelevant. I instead change with this statement, I do not deny my own emotions, and as such, I shall not and will not be guilted into feeling an emotion that i do not feel towards a subject. As such, I also revoke my statement on 9/11, and replace it with this, I feel, not sadness, but anger when talking about 9/11. this anger doesn't come from terrorists, but instead from the insane and unjust reactions of the american people (myself included), and i do not wish to memorialize such a day for it has dirtied the minds of some people to more prejudice against those of different religions (especially Muslims), ethniticities, and cultures. as such, I do not feel sadness, but anger at those took a day of mourning and made it into a rallying cry against terrorism, which is impossible to control or fight with out severly handicapping peoples all over the world. I feel that this is not denial, but instead acceptance my true feelings on the matter.

that's all for tonight (PS: 2 posts this week, i should keep this up)